Scared Stupid!

I'm up. It's 11:37pm in my parents house. Dark. Cold. And all I can think of is that there's a ghost in here in the shadows watching me.

My hair on my arms is standing straight up--and I still have to go all the way upstairs by myself!

I'm 31-almost-32, why does this still happen to me?





I think there might really be a ghost here.

So, um, yes; I'm attempted to revamp my blog in 2013 with lotsa-new-and-exciting! Not really, probably much-of-the-same but who cares? Not me! "I do what I wan'!"

Since my last entry, I had a baby, snapped back into exercise and diet mode, and found a new magical energy drink (NOS--love that junk!) Score me! I've been running around like a hyperactive child with a retractable leash lately--boundless energy, and you guessed it, not a wink of shut-eye! WTHeck?! Where, how, whuuuut?

In three short months, I'll be doing two MAJORLY awesome things: Seeing Kid Rock in Memphis (with hopes of a marriage proposal) and spending five days in Orlando at a work conference (oh, yeah, and staying at a RESORT! Ahhhh!) How excited am I about both--you. have. no. idea!

So with that oh-so-important tidbit said, I have three months to reach my goal weight, and I still have 20-some pounds to shed!

So, paired with no sleep and energy-in-a-can, I have totally reverted back to early morning workouts! We're talkin' 3am at the gym--it's really freaking exhilarating to start the day pumping irons before the sun even wakes up! By the time I start my day, I'm looking all-Arnold and feeling all-Beyonce-and-Richard-Simmons-mixed! Haha--wicked cool combination, right--but I wear it well!

This past weekend I decided to "hit the Target" (always a clever one) to try on bathing suits--figured it would motivate me to take my healthy lifestyle to the next level....the pry-the-peanut-butter-from-my-hands level! What I learned from the experience was that "I'm no longer a teenager", I'm a mom! Jeez! I'm not sure a respectable girl could wear some of those bottoms...Dang! As my grandma used to say, "your box would be hangin' out!" No doubt Gran! smh

The experience was helpful--I ran five miles afterwards, worked on my core, and came home barely able to stand and seeing stars! 's what I call workout success...a good blackout!

Well, it's been real--stay tuned for the craziness to continue in Season 2 of Insomnia'll do it!

Catch ya later!

Watch out, fat girl jumping on the bandwagon!

Welp, I've kind of fallen off the bandwagon both as a blogger, and a dieter! Womp, womp, woooomp!

Three weeks without the gym has kind of pissed me off--I'm angry. Forreal! *(Grrrr!)

I am convinced the devil is fat. The fat me is self-concious, wearing boring outfits, flat shoes--feeling like a blob in the morning and worst of all, getting headaches all the time and feeling crappy. It's freakin' crazy being fat.

I'll be the first to get excited about massive amounts of Chinese food, Chipotle, pizza, Italian food, and chocolate; but I have come to a very serious conclusion that these things equal nothing but torment--they are hell and the devil is a big, fat, unhappy blob eating pizza (with ranch dressing!)

Bandwagon, get ready...fat girl is jumping back on!

Day 1 starts tomorrow: Thursday! Nothing like a Thursday to start a diet! (*spit!) Good call Amanda!

Hair Fairy Blues

Homework? Blog? Homework? Blog? Sleep? Blog?

Ah-hem.

So I keep promising to get things ro-ro-rollin', but I'm really not that cool--or am I? *wink

I feel like my blog is a little random, maybe not so random, but it is definitely fly-by-night because I'm always talking about dieting, the gym, fashion, shopping, and cleaning. It is so....like basically what I'm always doing, hahah, so yeah--HATERS! Paragraph Coolness Rating: 0 out of 10.

Anyways, in an attempt to become much cooler, I think it's time for me to start kicking these blogs up a notch and getting focused on things other than the aforementioned loves of my life. Now don't roll your eyes and immediately think I'm going to be "that" blogger; Come, let me whisk you away to a much cooler, more mature blogspot, with all things beautiful and enchanted.

I promise I haven't been drinking. I was actually just trying to make a joke, but again, for some reason I'm just not. that. freakin. funny. tonight.

Moving on.

After Zumba and Abs class this evening, I hit the grocery for some much needed supplies: formula (check), chocolate milk (check), wipes (check). Oh, and did I mention the three boxes of dark brown hair dye I got on impulse...(um.....check, check, check.)

Darn me, I always get a wild hair when it comes to my hair. The hair fairy is apparently much too close to my ear, because lately that hussy has been screaming for me to do all kinds of things to my long, curly blonde locks. Last week she wanted me to go red, tonight brown, everyday shorter, straighter, bangs, AHHHHH...It's madness and total hair treachery. I need to leave it alone because for SO long I have wanted to grow that sucker out.

Anyway, I have a feeling tomorrow the three $9.99 boxes are going back to their home on the Weis Market shelf, that's if I can resist the temptation to undergo a project of mass destruction, and literally annihilate my hair. 

(Rebuttle, enter Fairy: It is the Fall though guys!!! Brown hair is hot in the fall and winter months. The celebrities are all over it, just crack this month's Vogue--Sarah Jessica is killing me with her flowy, curly, shiny brown hair!!

 No, quietly asks the poor little sad-faced girl with the deranged hair fairy?

:(

Good night.

Blogs, diet, late night TV, Noah's arc, Gaga...wait, huh?

Sooo....three weeks?!?! I know, I know. Uh, I KNOW!

So, what's happened you ask? Well, besides picking up a couple very exciting things: the Lauren Conrad Style book, a new dark grey pair of Nike's with neon pink laces,  two $5 earring sets from Wallys (one set had 8 gold hoops in different sizes, SCORE. I wear hoops like every-freakin-day), and the new Taylor Swift CD (AWESOME!!!); I have been, well, just kind of blah.

{Enter Storm Cloud}

In all honesty, I've kind of jumped off the dieting cliff and gone into super fat mode again, eating forbidden items, and put rather simply, rebelling just for the mere satisfaction of breaking a few rules. Problem is [curse], I'm breaking my own rules and then feeling horrible about it later--I mean like saw-at-my-wrist-with-a-dull-butter-knife--bad, jump-off-a-cliff--bad, bad, bad, bad--bad. (Disclaimer, because I know some of you very logical people need to hear it: Sometimes I use dark humor to describe situations of my own pathetic lowliness. I do not cut myself. Nor do I condone such a thing; And for that matter, I would not jump off a cliff either. ) 

Food is the devil. Forreal people! Food is the devil. Yes, the devil. The devil. Yes. (Are you scared? lol. You should be. Very. Mwhahahaha!)

While my sanity is still very much in tact, I think the past few weeks have stirred me up. There is a saying that "when it rains, it pours", and ain' it the truth sister?!?

The other night, I was up at a strange hour when TV shows turn into full-hour-advertisements.  I was watching this random channel when some unknown author came on to present archeological and historical evidence to support various Biblical references.

As I worked on one of my papers, I caught bits and pieces of the segment. At one point the man talked about the great flood and the archeological findings to support the fact that there was such an event. (I swear there's a point to this stream of thought.)

"Just stay a little longuh."
"Okay Jenny, I'll stay."

Yes, so where was I....last blog, diet, late night TV, Noah's arc.....Yes! Okay, so the man went on to explain that Noah was prepared by the Lord for a flood, and although Noah had never seen such an event, he did not question the Lord. Instead he prepared. He built an arc. He gathered two of every animal on Earth. He obeyed! (*Good boy. Love a man who can follow directions. *jab)

Well, in short (I realize my blog isn't really that short, but...), like Noah did, we all need to prepare for, metaphorically speaking, a flood.

This man, wise author that he was, suggested we all get our lives in order. Yes, organization. Since there are times that sneak up on us and cause mass chaos, we need to get things in order. I am a total D-BAG when it comes to organization. I want to be super organized; desperately, I want to be an organized gal, but I SUCK (for lack of a better word) at keeping things from becoming chaotic.

And, going back to the annoying struggles of my stupid diet (or let's face it, "lack of"), I think I need to get myself back on track by getting organized--hands totally dirty (Uh-gin!) Hate cleaning though. Seriously. Ugggg. **Is it deja vu or um, have I already blogged about organization and cleaning? See, I'm frickin' un-frickin-organized. Man-oh-man-oh-man.

So, Sunday, Funday? Nope, not tomorrow. Tomorrow, the house is undergoing a make-over. The bills are getting filed and/or put on the calendar. The kids summer clothes are getting put in the basement in bins. And, I am going to plan out my meals for the week; all this in an attempt to prepare for a terrential down pour. I'm also going to get out my course syllabi out and get my assignment calendar up--this way I won't have to spend a zillion hours Sunday night doing homework. (Yep, I'm 'that' person. Judge away.)

Once that is finished, I can start to focus again.

I read in Rolling Stone that every morning when Lady Gaga wakes up, she looks in the mirror and says to herself, "B****, you're Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today!" I love the fact that she is starting her day reiterating that she is in control of herself, and she will do what it takes to 'walk the walk'. (Love Gaga.)It's powerful to have that inner strength and control. I am addicted to the feeling of accomplishment that is a result of that inner strength.

So, tomorrow, well...shoot, it is tomorrow...so today...

Today is a brand new day, I'm going to get it back together today because you never know what tomorrow brings.

"B****, I'm Amanda Wilson, and I'm going to walk the walk today."











"As a culture, we tend to kill things we don't understand."

I won't be defeated by you, gas pump!

True Story.

A few days ago I was minding my business, cursing under my breath (as usual) at the gas pump when a man walked up and asked if I had a good sense of humor. Well, duh...so then he asks if he can "pump me!" Absurd? Yes. Completely.

"A good sense of humor?" Riiiight. Is that what I needed? I was thinking the right question for him might have been, "Are you carrying a loaded weapon" or "Do you possess any homicidal tendencies?"

Well, I laugh that OMG-who-are-you laugh and he proceeds to pump my gas while telling me how "beautiful" I am, and what "phenomenal legs" I have, and how great my high heels are.

Thank the Lord, and I mean that in a very sincere way, my dad called when he did because the compliments, while nice, were starting to get really kind of inappropriate--at least for the Sheetz parking lot! Anyway, I pounced on the phone, did a little thanks-for-pumping-me wave and jumped back into the SUV--with my phenomenal legs =)

On the way home, I couldn't wait to tell Jay about it. I knew he would be panting like a dog to hear that his wifey was getting picked at the gas pump. Uh...not so much.

I got home. Told the story. Retold the story in ESPN highlight fashion and quoted the man for the rest of the night. Jay was less than thrilled, but me and my phenomenal legs were amused all the same.

I've been thinking about boycotting gas stations lately and really taking a stand against the borderline inappropriate pick-up lines that men pumping gas construct. Who needs gasoline anyway. *Spit

With that said, I need to get off this computer in time to see the finale of Teen Mom.

<3 Amanda "the beautiful"

Getting back to business.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

What a week this has been--I know, I know, it's Monday and no one wants to hear crap on a Monday; but OMG!

I need fire. I need lights. Smoke. Fireworks. Thunder. Lighting. Divine intervention. Something.

I actually don't know exactly what I need, but I need something to get my non-motivated-eating-every-thing-in-sight self back on the path to success.

So, in an effort to obtain that control back again, I'm going to commit to three very important things this week: 1.) Wear something cute and dress up every day; 2.) Step up the working out to 4-4am days; and 3.) Well, number three is private (but don't you wish you knew?!)

I'm going to step it up this week and Saturday, I will be rewarded with shopping and sushi. (I'm sure Mom will be thrilled.)

Have a fantastic week.

(The Game Face)